My name is insecurity...

I didn't like Dostana one bit. It was regressive, not funny, cheesy and way too long. But people always have different opinions. And as an audience I believe it is my right to express those opinions. And that's what I did when I posted a rather elaborate comment on Karaj Johar's blog. In all my naivety I assumed that they'll publish the same and probably even take some constructive feedback from it! But no feedback is constructive when it comes to celebs (no wonder all the comments on his blog are nice and adulatory!). So, my comment was never published. Anyhoo, not one to give up easily I have decided to publish it here, in my space and myplatform. Maybe it'll have a little less impact (ahem) but it's important!

So , KJo -drink this!

Hi Karan,

I know that the chances of you reading through my entire message are minuscule, forget giving it any importance. But as an erstwhile fan of you and your movies and blogging being a very democratic medium, I feel that it is my right to use this forum to present my views.

Yesterday I spent 220 bucks and 3 hours of my middle-class existence on your latest flick - Dostana. Going by the promos (which to your credit were impossible to miss) I didn't expect a great movie, not even a good one. All I expected was a few good laughs. Few good laughs I got but not during the movie but later at my own stupidity in believing that things are changing, that intelligent film makers like you are changing and that maybe you'll practice what you preach. But alas, was I in for a ride! Not only was the movie extremely pretentious and regressive, it wasn't even funny! Before anyone accuses me of being a prude, let me clarify that I am a big proponent of Bollywood masala (just like you) and I have loved all the grandeur and opulence of K3G and KANK et al. I love the song and dance routines, swiss alps, SRK's hamming and Kajol's exuberence. But Dostana unfortunately was being handled by an incompetent one-dimensional fool whose only virtue was that he had access to you.

Anyways, it would be unfair on my part to throw these accusations at you and not substantiate it with any points. So here goes:

1. Get over KKHH because the audience clearly has. Giving references to your previous movies all the time is not a good idea. Obviously the movie means a lot to you but to expect the same from the audience is just being very ungrateful. Plus it's nauseating.

2. Use some logic once in a while. Why would 2 perfectly straight playboy-ish men suddenly stop dating other women when they shift to the new house? Is it possible that the 3 protagonists don't have any other friends except each other? Can a supposedly smart new-age woman be really that dumb?

3. Just because a man is gay doesn't mean that a girl (esp a virginal one that!) will be totally comfortable with him and treat him like her girlfriend.

4. There is cheesy and there is cheesy. Both the "wooing the girl" routines were of the third kind - CHEESY.

5. Editors maketh a film. Please hire one for My Name is Khan.

6. When the audience can't decide which is worse - the cringe inducing senti stuff or the unfunny low IQ jokes - it is time for some introspection. On your part.

I sincerely hope that you and your team give some thought to what I had to say. Even though I am not an NRI, I would still like to see big banners like yours contribute something worthwhile in this beautiful cinema legacy of ours and make the hours I spend on your movies worth it. Is that really asking for too much?

Love and Coffee,

Maya.

P.S. Oh and yes, PR can only take the movie to a certain point. After which it's just you and your conscience. Putting "running successful all over" banners on rediff on the very day of the movie's release will not fool the audience. Neither will the near-empty theaters.