Gabbar's Orkut Profile

This has to be the funniest forward I have come across in a long long time! Read each section of the 'profile' for extra fun...!

What's in a name?

So our man Harman Baweja is Hurman S. Baweja now.

I think we should all appreciate his burning ambition to become a star and sacrifice so much in order to get that. But doesn't he know that with his talent and lack of personality, it will take a lot more than just spell change?

Yeh picture hit hai ya superhit...?

In 1997 I was staying in a small town near Nagpur. For every new movie that would release me and my family would pile on in the car and drive down to Nagpur city because our town had only one, extremely shady theater. Big movies (Border), small movies (Tamanna), dubbed movies (Sapnay), good movies (Virasat), bad movies (Himalay Putra), serious movies (Mrityudand), masala movies (Judwaa), thrillers (Gupt), comedies (Yes Boss), romance (Pardes) - we saw them ALL! Most of these movies were decent hits but none could bring in so many viewers that it would be houseful for days. But one enterprising theater owner had a brain wave. He decided to run an older everybody-has-seen-it film once again. He gave a one of those 5cmx2cm black&white ads in the paper, which we saw. We had seen the movie at least 5 times in the last 2 years but the attraction of watching it on the big screen once again was a temptation too hard to resist! So off we went wondering how many other crazy people like us will turn up.

It was a houseful. The movie - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge.

That is what I call a BLOCKBUSTER. There were talks that the movie had grossed more than Rs. 50 crores (a huge sum at that time) at the box office and you knew it was right. Even after 2 years you could see it in the full theaters. Tickets didn't cost more than Rs. 60 and there were much fewer theaters - it was just the volumes that did it.

Now I go into jazzy multiplexes 2 weeks after Ghajini releases, pay Rs. 250 on the ticket and Rs. 100 on the pop-corn, look around at 60% occupancy and watch this 3 hr long piece of crap - which is supposedly breaking all box-office records! Rs. 200 crores?? And expected to make more? How come it doesn't feel like that? And it's not just Ghajini. All the so-called "superhits" of the last few years (Singh Is Kinng, Race, Fanaa, OSO, Welcome, RNBDJ, Dhoom 2 et al) fail to impress. Where are these revenues of crores coming from? How much do overseas revenue contribute? Is it fair to convert dollars into rupees and inflate the number? Why isn't inflation taken into account? Is the theater owner making any money at all?

Nobody is answering these uncomfortable questions. Everyone feels proud that Bollywood is now an industry but where is the accountability? Or has it learned the art of manipulating numbers from the corporates! The number of screens have increased, so have the prices on each ticket. Naturally each person is now contributing more into the revenue pie than previously. And that can't be the only criteria to call a movie a superhit. Volume, yield, line profit - everything should be included when deciding whether a movie is hit or not. We don't even have an official source or body which tracks the box-office performance of Bollywood movies. Only some unofficial bodies which too term movies a hit or a miss in a sometimes arbitrary manner. Incidentally, according to boxofficeindia.com Ghajini has so far made Rs. 90 crores in revenues (domestic or total - its not clear). In either scenario it is far from the imaginary Rs. 200 crores.

Colonial hangovers and more...

So A R Rahman won a Golden Globe and unlike many of our desi celebs, he didn't embarrass us while on stage! He was his usual self - soft spoken and shy. He also thanked the billion of us. Well Rahman, what can I say? You are totally welcome!

Shahrukh too made his 'debut' on the international arena (other than the non-happening Cannes 2002). He was as confident and well-spoken as always. Although what was with the tie- underneath-the-shirt look? A bit much, i'd say.

Are you looking forward to Luck By Chance? It's going to be tough for Farhan Akhtar (who relies more on charm than real acting talent) to follow-up Rock On!! with another decent movie and a good performance. Hope its not as bad as Oye! It's Friday. Other than that, should be an interesting one to watch.

Mohit Suri (Awaarapan, Kalyug, Woh Lamhe) is definitely a better filmmaker than his mentor Vikram Bhatt (too many insignificant movies to name) who directed Raaz Version 1. 'Raaz - The Mystery Continues' looks promising. Inspite of all the his detractors bad mouthing him, Emraan Hashmi is still a good box office bet. And Kangana looks positively radiant. Also, the movie doesn't have any competition on its release date -23rd Jan - which is always a good thing.

Deepika Padukone continues to bug me. As if having an absolutely ghaati style of speaking wasn't bad enough, she continues to parade around in hideous dresses! Yes people, that is velvet. I guess her styling team needs to work as hard as her PR team. Akshay on the other hand looks dapper as usual. A white suit is not everyone's cuppa tea.

Pehchaan Clone...

In spite of Harman Baweja's best efforts to be Hrithik Roshan or the next best alternative - he still loses out on some key parameters vis-à-vis the real superstar. One - the confidence and personality to carry off any piece of rag. And two - the famous set of six fingers.

What is that on his t-shirt? The devilish version of the Playboy mascot? Really? Did Priyanka approve?

And is it just me or does this movie has disaster written all over it!

Photo courtsey: http://www.gomolo.in/

Papa kehte hain...

...grow up! You are way too old to pull off this college cool dude look Aamir...

Photo courtsey: http://www.gomolo.in/

Golden Globes 2009

The nominations for Golden Globes 2009 are out. You can check them here. The winners will be announced on 11th Jan. Wonder if they are showing it in India?

Anyways, even though I have seen none of the movies (damn the delay it takes for Hollywood movies to come to India), I can still hazard a guess or two!

My bets are on The Curious Case of Benjamin Button for Best Picture and Best Screenplay. Brad Pitt will still have to wait a while to get some serious awards, even though that seems to be his top priority after his kids.

Kate Winslet will probably win the Best Supporting Actress (Drama) for The Reader, as she has some serious competition in the best actress category. And it still doesn't feel like this is her time.

Best actor (Drama) could go to either Leonardo DiCaprio for Revolutionary Road or Sean Penn for Milk. But since the sympathies would be more for Leo and Sean Penn is kinda controversial, it'll probably be the former.

Slumdog Millionaire for Best Director? I mean the movie has created so much buzz, they have to give it at least one solid win, rt!?

Tina Fey could and should win Best Actress in a TV series (Musical or Comedy) for 30 Rock. She is awesome!!

And why the hell has Cate Blanchett not been nominated for Benjamin Button?!! They don't get better than her.